Susan Hassall, Headmaster of 20,000+ Boys: What Nobody Tells You About Raising Sons

Susan Hassall arrived at Hamilton Boys' High School in 1979 as a 22-year-old English teacher. She stayed for 46 years. In 1999, she became the first woman in New Zealand to be appointed headmaster of a boys' state school — a role she held for exactly 25 years.

In this conversation, Susan shares what she's learned about love, leadership, loss, and what it takes to raise good men. We talk about her mantra — "you can pretend to care, but you can't pretend to show up" — the Greek concept of aretē that became the school's cornerstone, why she believes vulnerability is the most important quality in a leader, and what people get wrong about teenage boys.

Susan also opens up about working through breast cancer without missing a day, losing her deputy Graeme Robinson to a heart attack in her office, the death of her husband James, and why the years immediately after school are the most critical for young men.

Whether you're a parent, a teacher, a coach, or just someone trying to figure out what matters most — this one's for you.

⚠️ This episode contains a discussion about suicide. If you or someone you know needs support, please reach out: Need to Talk? Free call or text 1737 (available 24/7) Lifeline: 0800 543 354 or free text HELP to 4357 Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) Youthline: 0800 376 633 or free text 234

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