Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens 8: Apathetic, Cranky, Frustrated: Dealing with Kids' Distress About School
Sep 29, 2020
Children are struggling with school-related distress and show it as withdrawal, anger, or acting out. Learn how to de-escalate heated moments and lower tension before talking. Hear strategies for setting firm limits on meanness while staying empathetic. Discover ways to offer choices, validate frustration, and engage teens' more responsible side.
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Distress Shows Up Two Ways
- Kids express distress in two main ways: internalizing or externalizing.
- Recognizing the form helps parents respond with empathy and strategy.
Step Away And Schedule A Return
- Back away from heated interactions and schedule a calmer time to talk.
- Pick a time together so the child knows you're not dismissing them but seeking a more productive conversation.
Deliberately Lower Your Water Level
- Lower your own tension before re-engaging: walk, exercise, or do something calming.
- Arrive regulated so you can have a meaningful conversation instead of overflowing with frustration.