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"My journey to the microwave alternate timeline" by Malmesbury

Feb 11, 2026
A thought experiment about a world where microwaves replaced stoves. A tour of microwave cookbook techniques, specialized cookware, and why timing and vessel shape matter. Hands-on tests of microwaved steak, eggs, and browning tricks. Cultural reasons and scalability limits that kept microwaves from taking over kitchens.
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ANECDOTE

Rediscovering A Forgotten Microwave Manifesto

  • Malmesbury bought a copy of Marie T. Smith's 1985 Microwave Cooking for One and used it to explore a microwave-centric cooking timeline.
  • He frames the book as a manifesto from a microwave maximalist who believed microwaves would replace stovetops entirely.
INSIGHT

Why Microwaves Behave Counterintuitively

  • Microwaves heat by reorienting dipole molecules like water rather than direct absorption, producing counterintuitive behaviors.
  • That physics explains weird effects like slow melting of ice and inconsistent heating patterns in home microwaves.
ADVICE

Treat Microwave Recipes Like Experiments

  • Follow precise timings, wattage, and vessel specifications when microwaving to get reproducible results.
  • Use specified cookware and measure volumes with metal measuring cups rather than guessing by eye.
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