Divergent Conversations

Episode 12: Demand Avoidance and PDA: Exploring the Overlap and Difference [Featuring Tara Holmquist]

Jul 28, 2023
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INSIGHT

PDA As A Nervous System Stress Response

  • PDA is best understood as a nervous-system fight/flight stress response triggered by threats to autonomy rather than willful oppositional behavior.
  • Dr. Megan Neff frames it as a pervasive drive for autonomy that can look like anxiety-driven avoidance, not ODD or conduct disorder.
ANECDOTE

Rushing Through Tasks To Reach Rest

  • Tara Holmquist describes her coping: rushing through tasks to get to rest, yet feeling internally 'dying' despite outward productivity.
  • She speeds through chores and work to reach a couch-and-stare respite, repeating the loop constantly.
ANECDOTE

Visceral Meltdown After Last Minute Plan Change

  • Tara recounts being told plans changed last-minute from a soccer game to furniture shopping and having a visceral meltdown despite prior agreement.
  • The sudden schedule shift triggered intense anxiety and ruined the experience even though they completed the task.
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