Jason reveals listening is essential for collaboration, if people know you're not listening they can't weigh in, if they can't weigh in they can't buy in. Recording from hotel at boot camp not recording booth. Before power communication with rapport people said Jason you're not paying attention, now gets feedback thank you for caring being sincere really hearing me. Problem now: when listening he forgets what he wants to say, proves he's actually paying attention. Seven ineffective habits: not paying attention, false listening (nodding uh-huh), rehearsing (waiting to speak), interrupting (Jason admits still does to wife), hearing what's expected (finishing sentences), feeling defensive, listening for disagreement. Stephen Covey oxygen: Not being listened to is like oxygen sucked out of room.
What you'll learn in this episode:
- Listening enables collaboration: If people know you're not listening they can't weigh in, if can't weigh in they can't buy in
- Seven ineffective listening habits: Not paying attention (ignoring speaker watching TV reading), false listening (pretending nodding uh-huh), rehearsing (chatter in mind waiting to speak), interrupting (Jason still does to wife), hearing what's expected (finishing sentences), feeling defensive (defend instead of understand), listening for disagreement (attorney shouting I object)
- Four ways to achieve effective listening: Focus (pay attention even with dull topics, observe body language voice inflection non-verbal cues), establish rapport (mirror body language rhythm voice tone pace not manipulation), paraphrase what was heard (summarize sender's message give back speaker's words), listen for whole message (meanings in verbal and non-verbal, ideas feelings intentions facts positives and unpleasant)
- Integrated control system: No longer command and control, integrated control where team decides together weighs in buys in, keep control of project sites
- Stephen Covey oxygen analogy: Not being listened to is like oxygen sucked out of room, they won't weigh in won't buy in
Great listeners are great leaders, write Q card and intentionally practice becoming amazing listener.
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