The Science of Conversation: How To Say What You Mean, Be Heard, and Stop People-Pleasing | Alison Wood Brooks

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Aug 25, 2025

Alison Wood Brooks, a Harvard Business School professor and author of 'TALK: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves', shares her insights into the art of conversation. She explains that conversation is a trainable skill, not just an innate talent, and offers practical strategies like 'topic chunking' to enhance communication. Brooks emphasizes the importance of active listening, kindness, and humor, while discussing the evolving value of soft skills in an AI-driven world. Her engaging tips promise to transform how we connect.

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ADVICE

Don't Fear Asking Too Much

Asking many questions rarely harms cooperative talks; only extreme rates (e.g., >3 Qs/min) feel like interrogation in sales.
If accused of interrogating, check tone, topic sensitivity, and repetition rather than raw question count.

ADVICE

Don't Boomerang Questions Back

Avoid 'boomerasking': don't ask a question just to pivot immediately back to yourself.
If you want to share, do it openly rather than using thinly veiled questions to self-promote.

ADVICE

Bring Levity, Not Punchlines

Use levity to signal safety and re-engage participants; prioritize making situations fun over being 'funny.'
Small acts (compliments, treats, surprises) change mood and permission to play in conversation.

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You talk all day. Here's how to do it better, according to a professor from Harvard Business School.

Alison Wood Brooks comes from the Harvard Business School, where she teaches a course called "TALK: How to Talk Gooder in Business and Life," which she has now turned into a book, called TALK: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves.

In this episode we talk about:

The evolution of conversation
Why conversation is a skill — not just a natural talent
How to develop conversational skills, including common conversational pitfalls to avoid
Granular, tactical pieces of advice on how to have a conversation
The science behind conversation that may surprise you
Listening tips
Conversational repair strategies
How kindness can go pear shaped
How to handle difficult moments in conversation
The difference between focusing on other people and people pleasing
How to integrate these incredible learnings into your life
How soft skills are becoming increasingly more valuable with the rise of AI

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