Life Kit Why "we should hang out" won't make you real friends
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Feb 9, 2026 
Kat Vellos, author and friendship expert who helps design spaces for connection, shares practical ways to turn acquaintances into real friends. She talks about spotting warmth and mutual curiosity. She urges asking to hang out soon with specific plans and choosing memorable activities over forgettable coffee. She also covers respecting people’s capacity, asking deeper questions, and why some friendships naturally drift.
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Make Specific Invites
- Pull out your calendar, pick a time, and pick a thing to do when you invite someone to hang out.
- Be specific instead of saying “we should hang out sometime” to actually follow through.
Lean On Shared Context
- When possible, build your next hangout from the context where you met (e.g., join the same trivia team next week).
- See them again soon to prevent the spark from fizzling out.
Friendship Needs Early Momentum
- Converting acquaintances into friends requires concentrated time early on.
- Dr. Jeffrey Hall found ~30 hours to form a casual friendship, so meet often soon after meeting.
