Why Dating Is A Failed Concept

Jan 30, 2026

Patrick Coffin, Catholic broadcaster and close-up magician, explores why modern dating fails and what humans actually need. He links attachment styles to images of God, explains the biochemical roots of bonding, and traces three historic splits that weakened relationships. Expect discussion of ritual, emotional permanence, repair after conflict, and even a live magic moment.

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INSIGHT

Three Cultural 'Divorces' Broke Unity

Western fragmentation began with three major 'divorces' separating unity: East/West, Protestant/Church, and Faith/Reason.
Those ruptures created splintered authority, cultural rootlessness, and science-as-faith problems today.

INSIGHT

Perpetual Orphans In Modern Life

Modern life has created 'perpetual orphans' who are biochemically and socially isolated despite living with family.
Lack of transmitted wisdom, safety, and paternal presence leaves nervous systems tuned for scarcity of love.

INSIGHT

Biochemistry Links Bonding And Faith

Early caregiving tunes biochemical systems: oxytocin, serotonin, GABA and dopamine bond children to caregivers.
Prayer and a secure sense of God can activate similar biochemical signatures of feeling loved.

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Why is dating broken?

Why are young men flooding back to church?

In this conversation, I sit down with Patrick Coffin: Catholic broadcaster, close-up magician, and host of The Patrick Coffin Show. We go deep on the real reasons relationships are falling apart: and it goes back further than you think.

We cover:
→ Why dating is a failed concept (and what humans actually need)
→ The 3 "divorces" that broke Western civilization
→ How your image of God shapes your attachment style
→ Why empaths and narcissists can't stop finding each other
→ The difference between emotional permanence and emotional impermanence
→ What the Traditional Latin Mass has to do with secure attachment
→ Why "spiritual but not religious" is code for "I don't want to be challenged"
→ The biochemistry of feeling loved (oxytocin, vasopressin, and cortisol)
→ How to repair after conflict: the skill most families lost 120 years ago
Plus: Patrick performs a live magic trick that lands.

This is the intersection of faith, neuroscience, and attachment theory: the stuff that actually changes how you bond.

🔗 RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Patrick Coffin's Podcast: https://patrickcoffin.media
True North Community: https://patrickcoffin.media

📚 WORK WITH ME:
🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–26, 2026 | San Diego, California 3 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through. Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=retreat
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🎙️ ABOUT THIS CHANNEL:
I'm Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist. I've spent 16 years helping people understand how their brain learned to bond: and how to change it. I work with anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles to build secure relationships that actually last.
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