The Happiness Podcast 81 - Losing Your "Rat Race" Self
Mar 21, 2021
A thought-provoking look at what it means to lose the egoic self. Short stories and metaphors question self-identification and who we really are. Reflections on suffering, happiness, and how understanding the self can make it vanish. A dancer-and-dance image reframes life as being lived rather than controlling the show.
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Why Trying To Lose The Self Backfires
- Trying harder to lose the self makes it harder because conscious effort keeps the ego focused.
- Anthony de Mello explains that losing things (or the self) happens when you stop trying and become unaware, not by forceful effort.
Suffering Anchors The Ego While Joy Frees It
- Pain and suffering intensify self-centeredness, while happiness dissolves self-focus.
- Anthony de Mello uses toothache and headache examples to show misery makes you unbearably aware of the self.
The Napoleon Visitor Who Needed Spiritual Direction
- A visitor insists he is Napoleon and worries about his armies in Russia, illustrating delusional self-importance.
- Anthony de Mello role-plays compassionately, then recommends Matthew 6 as a remedy for anxiety.