Flirtations! with Benjamin, the Flirt Coach

22. The Spark, Chemistry, and Attraction in Early Dating with Lauren Josephine

Aug 16, 2024

In this conversation, Lauren Josephine, a dating and relationships author with over 200 dates under her belt, shares her insights on the elusive spark in early dating. She discusses whether the spark needs to be instant or can develop over time. The duo dives into how chemistry and attraction—both physical and emotional—play vital roles in forming connections. With her experiences and practical advice, Lauren encourages listeners to embrace the complexities of modern dating while fostering self-reflection and emotional intelligence.

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ANECDOTE

Meet Cute From Reddit

Lauren met her now-fiancé after quitting dating apps and posting on Reddit about oversharing experiences.
He DM'd her, they met for coffee, and the casual, low-expectation date led to a lasting relationship.

INSIGHT

The Comfort Of The Middle Ground

Being between extremes felt calming for Lauren and allowed her to be curious instead of anxious.
She describes that middle ground as relief and a desire to see the person again without urgent certainty.

INSIGHT

What The Spark Feels Like

The spark is described as a magical mix of banter, touch, intrigue, and immediate physical attraction.
It feels energetic and creates curiosity and eagerness for future dates.

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What do you think about the spark?

Does it need to be there right away? Can it grow over time? How long should you give it to develop? Does the spark even matter?

What about chemistry? How does that factor into things?

What role does attraction play in dating? Both physical and emotional attraction?

In this episode, myself and our guest Lauren Josephine (@lookingforsomethingserious) will break it allll down for you and answer your questions about the ⚡️SPARK⚡️ and more!

I hope you enjoy this episode and please leave a review or rating if you found it helpful!

About our guest: Lauren is long-time dater turned dating and relationships author. After going on over 200 dates throughout her 20s and 30s, she felt called to write about and normalize all of the struggles modern daters deal with today, especially when using dating apps.

She recently published her first book called "Looking for Something Serious", in which she uses her 10-year dating journey to discuss the many pitfalls of dating today, like ghosting, situationships, repeated rejection, and losing hope in dating altogether.

Lauren is passionate about sharing practical, optimistic dating advice to help single people build the confidence, patience, and hope they need to not give up on finding love. She is 34 and lives in the Bay Area, California with her fiancé (who she met on Reddit in 2022!) and her dog Winnie.

You can connect with Lauren on Instagram and via her website.

About your host: Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!

As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic and romantic connection - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and ultimately, a deeper connection with the self.

You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.

💗 Happy flirting!