Trust Me: Cults, Extreme Belief, and Manipulation Matthew Remski, Part 1 - Seizures, Spirituality, & the First Charismatic Guru
Apr 15, 2026
Matthew Remski, author and Conspirituality podcaster who studied cults and lived with charismatic gurus, shares his journey from Catholic childhood to mysterious seizures and spiritual obsession. He recounts intense years traveling with Michael Roach, daily life in an inner circle, somatic spiritual displays, and what drove him to leave and join another community.
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Warm Catholic Childhood Sparked Spiritual Sensitivity
- Matthew Remski traced his spiritual sensitivity to a warm childhood experience at the Cardinal Newman Center in Toronto.
- He remembers the communion bread and the joy there, which contrasted later with St. Michael's Choir School's routinized, hollow rituals.
Disillusionment From Seeing Mary As A Made Object
- As a child Matthew realized religious icons were made objects, which flattened mystical awe into material craftsmanship.
- That early disillusionment taught him spiritual experience is produced by people working with available skills, not magic.
Seizures Preceded Obsessive Spirituality And Writing
- During a period of stress Matthew experienced idiopathic grand mal seizures and loss of consciousness with furniture tipped over.
- He links this with a persistent hyper-religiosity and hypergraphia trait similar to Geschwind's syndrome, though never formally diagnosed.