UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone 469. Coaching Hotline: When You Don't Want to Have Sex & Social Events Feel Draining
Feb 24, 2026
A coaching hotline-style conversation about feeling drained by social events and why small talk can feel boring. A breakdown of how thoughts shape social exhaustion and practical mindset shifts to reclaim energy and connection. A separate segment examines having no desire for sex, reframing desire as thoughts to explore rather than a fixed problem, plus when to consider medical checks.
AI Snips
Chapters
Books
Transcript
Episode notes
Start By Changing Thoughts About Libido
- Do work on the thoughts that make lack of libido upsetting before trying to change libido itself.
- Kara Loewentheil instructs treating “I have no libido” as a circumstance then unpacking why that feels like a problem so urgency and panic decrease.
Desire Is Separate From How You Feel About It
- Realize that even if lack of desire were fixed, you can choose not to be upset about it.
- Kara notes people have started families without high libido and some identify as asexual yet feel fine, separating circumstance from meaning.
Check Hormones If Desire Drops Rapidly
- If libido dropped suddenly from high to low, get hormones checked and consider medical causes first.
- Kara recommends medical evaluation when desire declines quickly rather than only mental work.
