Think Act Be Podcast Ep. 191: Dr. Brie Turns-Coe — How to Be the Parent Your Child Needs
May 3, 2023
In this engaging discussion, Dr. Brie Turns-Coe, an associate professor and author, dives into her transformative parenting philosophy. She emphasizes the importance of parenting 'the child you have' rather than projecting past experiences. Brie explores how unmet childhood needs can influence current parenting styles and reveals the dangers of reenacting old patterns. They also tackle the contentious topic of spanking, discussing both its immediate effects and long-term harm to relationships. Parents are encouraged to embrace their own imperfections and cultivate grace in their approach.
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Parenting Feeds Self-Worth Beliefs
- Parents often judge their worth by whether their children comply and behave as expected.
- That belief can drive reactive, punitive parenting and reinforce feelings of failure.
We Parent The Child We Were
- Parents often enact how they were raised, either copying or rebelling against it, rather than seeing the child in front of them.
- That dynamic prevents parents from responding to their child's actual needs and cues.
One Spanking Was Enough
- Brie describes being spanked only once as a child and reacting strongly to disapproval.
- That experience shaped how her parents adjusted discipline and how she views corporal punishment.