Separation: listener question

Dear Clare,

   I am beginning to see the possibility of this, but I get stuck on the same thing, over and over.  I AM a separate physical entity in the relative world. Therefore there is a form of separation in my life. According to my understanding, what you are saying is that genetics and conditioning create my nervous system and thus Larry’s action figure goes on and does his thing and suffers in the world. 

  Then, Larry acquires through his nervous system another understanding that says he is powered (and so is this corrupted insane nervous system) by consciousness, Brahman, awareness or whatever you call it. Then comes the reflection that is not obvious to me: I should give up my ego and settle into this awareness and basically cease to participate with any intention in the relative world. So the choice is have a life in the relative world with ego or watch the automaton or the robot that I am in the “real world”. The choice is between having any identity separated or having no identity “enlightened”. All this while it is clear I am a separate physical entity performing actions in the relative world.

  I think this conundrum may be why Syd Banks did not talk about non-duality in his presentation. 

   I did believe my nervous system is insane, but at least “I” can have a relationship with the world with it.

   Help!

Larry