It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People Holiday Conflict Reduction
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Dec 23, 2021 Holidays can bring out the drama, especially when high-conflict individuals are present. Strategies discussed include setting boundaries, using distraction techniques, and employing 'sitters' for difficult guests. The importance of changing the subject and avoiding persuasive debates is emphasized to maintain a peaceful atmosphere. Additionally, tips for coping with loneliness during the holidays, such as volunteering and staying connected with loved ones, offer uplifting alternatives to isolation. Prepare well and remember, it’s not your fault!
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Assign A Sitter And Interrupt Early
- Assign a trained "sitter" to stay near predictable troublemakers and gently redirect them.
- Interrupt and change the subject quickly to prevent escalation and deny them time to react.
Don't Try To Win Every Argument
- Forget about convincing a high-conflict person they're wrong and instead change the subject.
- Ask for a mundane favor (e.g., "Can you pass the green beans?") to shift focus, Bill Eddy advises.
They Speak From Their Own Agreeing Narrative
- High-conflict people often speak as if others already agree with them.
- They run internal conversations and expect external agreement, which triggers conflict when unmet.