Ever Forward Radio with Chase Chewning EFR 930: How to Make Heartbreak Suck LESS - Why You Can't Let Go of Your Ex (And How to Finally Move On for Good) with Cole Zesiger
This episode is brought to you by Audible, Ancient + Brave and Fatty15.
Breakups don't just hurt emotionally—they rewire your brain. Cole Zesiger is here to unpack the science of heartbreak, why it can feel like addiction, and what actually helps you move forward. He dives into the truth about no-contact, attachment styles, and why many people stay stuck chasing closure or clinging to the idea of "the one." Cole also shares practical strategies to rebuild your life after a breakup, explaining how healing comes from creating meaning, regulating your emotions, and building a life that feels better than the one you lost. Whether you're trying to get an ex back or finally let go, this conversation reframes heartbreak as a powerful opportunity for growth and becoming your best self.
Follow Cole @coachcolezesiger
Follow Chase @chase_chewning
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00:00 – Heartbreak activates the brain like addiction
01:27 – Why no-contact feels harder before it helps
02:04 – What to do after no-contact actually works
03:13 – Why you feel obsessed with your ex
04:21 – The 2 keys to healing after a breakup
05:57 – Rejection, confusion, and creating meaning
07:53 – "Detoxing" from your ex like a drug
08:18 – Attachment styles explained (secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized)
12:41 – Love bombing and why it works on anxious attachment
14:32 – Why avoidant partners pull away
15:26 – Who is most likely to get back together
17:10 – If YOU broke up with them… what now?
18:24 – Relief vs regret after ending a relationship
20:15 – How to know if you made the right decision
22:03 – When words don't match actions in relationships
27:26 – Why people don't change (Tony Robbins insight)
29:01 – The "teeter-totter" of love vs fear
31:32 – When to stop trying to fix the relationship
33:24 – Show vs tell: why actions matter more than words
34:07 – Turning heartbreak into your best life
36:20 – Is hope helping you or hurting you?
39:33 – The myth of "the one"
42:35 – Why you can find connection again
45:11 – You don't find love—you build it
48:05 – Why you're attracted to certain people (empathic resonance)
50:10 – Should you date after a breakup?
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