Episode 537: Patti Stanger: Why Modern Dating Is Broken, Red Flags, and the Commitment Crisis

Mar 17, 2026

Patti Stanger, third-generation matchmaker and founder of The Millionaire's Club, shares hard-nosed matchmaking wisdom. She discusses how apps and social media shifted power and commitment. She names top red flags, explains post-COVID dating hesitancy, why curated gatherings beat swiping, and how biology influences attachment.

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INSIGHT

Tech Alters Power Not Human Biology

Technology changed dating mechanics but not biology, so apps shift power yet human attachment systems still govern behavior.
Patti links tech-driven entitlement and hormone/fertility trends to men showing less traditional masculine drive and lower testosterone due to environmental factors.

ADVICE

Mirror Texting And Protect Your Worth

Mirror a man's texting pattern: respond in similar timing and block or ghost if he ghosts you.
Patti explains men often date multiple people and reward women who show self-respect and boundaries.

ADVICE

Three Concrete Red Flags To Avoid

Avoid partners with addiction, obsessive ex-talk, or no prior marriage/children by age 50 as red flags.
Patti prioritizes these markers because they predict commitment issues or unresolved patterns in men over 50.

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Modern dating feels harder than it should. With more access, more options, and more ways to connect than ever before, commitment feels rarer, and follow through drops the minute effort is required.

We dive deeper into this in the Habits & Hustle podcast with Patti Stanger. We also chat about commitment behavior, power dynamics in modern relationships, and the difference between high standards and self-sabotage.

Patti Stanger is the star and executive producer of Bravo’s hit docu-series The Millionaire Matchmaker®. She is a third-generation matchmaker and founder of The Millionaire’s Club, launched in 2000. She is the author of Become Your Own Matchmaker, Find Your Match, Seal the Deal, and Raise Your Desirability Factor.

What’s Discussed

(06:30) How dating apps and technology shift power dynamics and commitment behavior
(10:31) Why men date multiple women and choose based on self-respect signals
(15:03) The biggest red flags, including never married by late 50s
(31:35) Why men hesitate to approach women post-COVID and post-MeToo
(45:35) How social media and filters distort attraction and expectations
(50:23) Why younger generations struggle more with commitment and social skills
(56:59) Why curated gatherings, hobbies, and clubs beat swiping apps
(1:06:27) The biology of oxytocin and why sex changes attachment dynamics

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Find more from Jen:

Website: https://jennifercohen.com

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Books: https://jennifercohen.com/books

Speaking: https://jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement

Find more from Patti Stanger:

Website: https://pattiknows.com https://millionairesclub123.com

Instagram: @pattistanger

X: @pattistanger