Breaking News: Men's Junk Jumps by 24% Worldwide - Feel Good Friday

Scientists are puzzled by a recent study that found the average erect penis length has increased by 24 percent worldwide over the last few decades. The researchers speculate that global environmental causes, including a sedentary lifestyle and exposure to hormone-disrupting substances, could be contributing to the increase. A man in his 50s diagnosed with prostate cancer developed an "uncontrollable 'Irish accent" despite not having one before, according to a report by researchers from Duke University and Carolina Urologic Research Center. The researchers suspect that the man's case is a rare instance of Foreign Accent Syndrome, which basically means that your speech changes in a way that makes it sound like you have a foreign accent. And in this case, it was the luck of the Irish. Apparently, the CDC has tied the use of EzriCare Artificial Tears to a multi-state cluster of Pseudomonas aeruginosa patients. The CDC is investigating at least 50 cases in 11 states that have led to hospitalization, permanent vision loss, and even one death. Yikes. For WHAT THE HELLTH Jer shows us a wild simulation of what it feels like to live with schizophrenia and let's just say it's not not scary. Join the post-episode conversation over on Discord! https://discord.gg/expeUDN