Why Do I Actively Try To Stay Sick?

Mar 5, 2026

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Why do we cling to the behaviors that hurt us most? In this episode, Kati Morton, LMFT, dives into the physiological and emotional complexities of eating disorder recovery, trauma responses, and the "why" behind our most difficult survival mechanisms.

We explore the "safety" found in cycles like bulimia or anorexia when living in neglectful environments, and Kati provides actionable tools for those navigating C-PTSD, DID, and intimacy after divorce.

The "Freeze" Response: Understanding "bed-locking" and C-PTSD.
Complicated Grief: Why you might feel numb when an abuser passes away.
The Feelings Wheel: Practical tools for naming emotions when you feel disconnected.
Dissociation & DID: Managing treatment while living in an unsafe home.

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00:00 – Intro: Mind-body responses
00:43 – ED cycles in abusive homes & Mandated Reporting
07:02 – Grieving an abuser: Understanding emotional numbness
12:41 – Why we "enjoy" or miss our eating disorders
25:01 – Tools for naming emotions (The Feelings Wheel)
32:27 – Navigating DID treatment in unsafe environments
39:09 – Is "bed-locking" a normal C-PTSD response?
47:09 – Shame and intimacy after divorce
53:03 – When your therapist challenges your recovery

YouTube: youtube.com/@Katimorton
Books: Why Do I Keep Doing This?, Traumatized, and Are u ok?
Online Therapy: Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/kati

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. Please consult with a qualified professional for diagnosis and treatment.

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