Listener note: We want to let listeners know that this episode includes discussion of grief and the loss of a child. Please listen in a way that feels supportive for you.
In this episode, Catherine Asta is joined by Sue Lansbury for a deeply moving and compassionate conversation about late autism discovery, grief, creativity, and aging as an autistic woman in a world that often overlooks older women, especially autistic older women.
Diagnosed as autistic at the age of 68, Sue reflects on a lifetime shaped by confusion, overwhelm, masking, and the huge personal cost of pushing through. She shares how receiving her diagnosis brought both relief and the slow, ongoing work of rediscovering herself - reconnecting with her youngest self through art, making, and a lifelong relationship with the natural world.
Sue speaks powerfully about burnout, invisibility, and the risks faced by autistic people whose needs remain undiscovered later in life. She also reflects with great tenderness on the death of her son Jay - a gifted, fearless artist - and how art, ritual, and the changing seasons have helped her hold grief, love, and memory together.
Throughout the conversation, Sue offers “waves of compassion” - for herself, for parents and carers navigating guilt around late discovery, and for autistic people and families living within systems that still struggle to understand and support them. She introduces the idea of creating a personal “self-portrait” to capture needs, sensitivities, and ways of being, as a way of protecting dignity and wellbeing as we age.
Their conversation explores:
- Late autism discovery and the emotional cost of masking
- Burnout, aging, and the invisibility of older autistic women
- Grief, loss, and autistic experiences of profound change
- Art as a process for expression and healing when words aren’t enough
- Compassion over guilt for families facing late discovery
- Advocacy, legacy, and why a more diverse society benefits everyone
It’s a wise and hopeful episode about grief and growth, creativity and care, and the importance of meeting ourselves - and each other - with compassion at every stage of life.
Autism Central
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