Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo 2325 When You Feel Trapped
This dissension and discord can disrupt any marriage. It can put couples in their corners.
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When pain exceeds pleasure, the pressure to change your partner becomes overwhelming and unbearable.
You want change because you're tired of living in an explosive relationship.
The thing is, that thought goes both ways. You are thinking it. Your sweetheart is thinking it.
Then on top of that, you have your emotions.
Extreme emotions start your day while frantic feelings end the day. There is no rest for the weary.
Stuff that goes through your mind —
- You want out.
- You know you're right.
- How did we get here?
- Something's gotta change.
You've just had enough!
So what do you do to promote this change you so desperately want?
You gotta rock the boat!
The K.I.S.S. ~ Rock the boat!First things first. You must know that safety is the priority! If you are in an unsafe relationship, you need to seek help immediately.
However, if you know that you are safe and are ready to disrupt the norm and have an intervention, these are a few places to begin.
- Live out how you want to be treated. Don't let your spouse walk all over you. You deserve to be treated as a human being. With that being said, you need to treat your spouse as you want to be treated. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. (Luke 6:31 and Matthew 7:12) You must mirror this to your spouse.
- Be prepared for resistance. Nobody likes to be pushed into a corner. And usually, they come out with their boxing gloves. But since you're prepared (meaning you keep your emotions in check), you know that you only control you, then you can gain some ground.
- Set boundaries that support the change you are seeking. When you treat your spouse the way you wanted to be treated... When you prepare your heart and mind for resistance... It's then where your boundaries support what you desire for yourself. If you find yourself in a situation where your spouse talks down to you, then you set a boundary that facilitates the landscape that you will not tolerate this kind of behavior (i.e., walk away, etc.).
With all of these, you must be consistent. Because when you waiver, you reveal your weakness and your lack of confidence in what you want.
Now, these techniques are a way for you to disrupt the normalcy of what you want to change. It's an intervention to move you forward. Please note that in doing so, you have to understand there will be some pushback from your spouse.
So don't enter this time in your life where you just fly by the seat of your pants. You need support and encouragement. Plus, you need a confidant to understand your side so you feel seen and heard.
This is a great time to work with a coach or counselor.
Feeling trapped can be minor. But when it consumes your thoughts and actions, it's time to look at an alternative in addressing the situation at hand.
"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"
#RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
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Music by Mandisa - Overcomer
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Song ID: 68209 Song Title: Overcomer Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI) 9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music - Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.