Just Break Up: Relationship Advice from Your Queer Besties Episode 62: Do You Like Me or Like Like Me?
Sep 23, 2019
They debate intellectual compatibility and what it really looks like in relationships. They unpack when understanding a partner becomes emotional abuse and how consent and boundaries get tangled. They explore how white supremacy shapes dating preferences and offer practices for self-love and resisting harmful beauty standards.
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English Has One Word For Many Kinds Of Love
- Love is an umbrella word that covers many distinct feelings, causing people to avoid saying I love you or invent substitutes like "do you like like me?".
- Sierra and Sam note intimacy varies by relationship type, e.g., deep platonic love versus romantic love, making one-word labels inadequate.
Reframing Emotional Abuse As Taking Joy Without Consent
- Jordan proposes defining emotional abuse as someone consciously taking your joy, happiness, or freedom without consent, reframing emotional harm like other abuse definitions.
- Sierra adds nuance: abuse can involve coerced consent or patterns where a partner allows their joy to be taken due to not prioritizing themselves.
Forgive Reactions But Stop Sustained Harm
- Forgive reactive mistakes but hold partners accountable when hurtful patterns persist and strip away the other's freedom or safety.
- Sam and Sierra advise restraint: notice when triggers become controlling behaviors and ask partners to restrain acting out of hurt.