PsycHacks Episode 602: How to get over an ex (the two best strategies)
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Mar 6, 2026 Practical psychological strategies for moving on from a breakup. Two main approaches are explained: gradual exposure to reminders and complete extinction through no contact. Tips include blocking and replacing intrusive thoughts and carrying a list of flaws to counter idealization. The goal is emotional neutrality or even genuine happiness for the other person.
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Exposure Can Extinguish Emotional Charge
- Emotional responses can be neutralized by repeated, concentrated exposure to the stimulus.
- Orion Taraban compares saying a word repeatedly or flooding exposure (like phobia treatment) to looking at triggering images until they lose salience.
Use Flooding Only If You Can Handle Intensity
- Use flooding only if you can tolerate intense short-term distress because it accelerates extinction.
- Orion notes flooding is like sitting in a tub of pickles: effective but extremely uncomfortable and not for everyone.
Do Complete No Contact To Let Feelings Fade
- Implement extinction by cutting all contact and cognitive engagement with your ex (true no contact).
- Orion warns to stop calling, texting, stalking social media, replaying memories, and avoiding their haunts to let paired emotions decay.
