My daughter, at University is having problems and it is consuming my thoughts at times. I see that I am in separation, there is a definite daughter and an actual problem to be solved,it also feels like I should be able, or its up to me, to solve it.

Last night I found myself wracking my brains to see where this conversation can help me. "It's just thoughts" kept coming to mind, which I argued with myself that I am actually a thought too and I have jumped on a hamster wheel of trying to fix things, be in control. Then the fork in the road picture came to mind, well I'm on the left fork, the right fork it where I need to be, so how do I get there? Thinking so hard to figure it out. As you can see the ways I have felt in the past in this conversation have deserted me in favour of the separate world.

In quieter moments I can see that I am identifying with her problems and

1. thinking my anxieties have given her these thoughts, so she is taking after me, or

2. I am using my experience and assuming her experience is exactly the same. I can see that I have knowledge that could help but am forcing it a bit too much. I find myself giving her suggestions I have not followed myself.

Listener question: how to help my daughter