#182: Visibility As Generosity: Rethinking Photos, Aging, And Confidence With Photographer Kristen Vallejo

If you've ever hidden in the back of a family photo, skipped a headshot session, or cringed when you saw a candid picture of yourself, this episode is for you.

I sat down with Kristen Vallejo, a portrait and branding photographer based in upstate New York, who has made it her mission to help women feel comfortable and confident being seen. 

In this conversation, we unpack why so many of us (especially women navigating midlife) have such a complicated relationship with being photographed. We talk about the role social media has played in making us feel like every picture has to be perfect, why menopause can make it even harder to recognize yourself in photos, and how we can start to shift that.

One of the most powerful reframes Kristen shares is this: visibility is generosity. When you hide from the camera, you're also withholding yourself ( your gifts, your presence, your relatability) from the people who need to see you. That hit me in a deep way, and I think it will for you too.

We also talk about body diversity and representation, why photographers aren't looking at you with the critical lens you're using on yourself, and some practical tips to make any photo session feel less like a pressure cooker.

Kristen's missing ingredient in midlife? Novelty. And I love that answer.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why so many women approach the camera with terror, and what's underneath it
• How social media has raised the bar for "acceptable" photos and what that costs us
• Why going through menopause can make seeing yourself in photos feel particularly confronting
• What body neutrality looks like in practice, even in a portrait session
• The power of representation and why your visible presence matters more than you think
• Practical tips for preparing for a photo session without the overwhelm

About Kristen Vallejo: Kristen Vallejo is a portrait and branding photographer based in upstate New York, specializing in entrepreneurs, small business owners, and those with animals in their work. She's passionate about capturing the real person behind the lens — not just a polished pose. You can find her at kristenvallejo.com and on Instagram at @kristenvallejophotography.

Related Episodes:

• Is Feeling Seen the Missing Part of Your Midlife Story? with Dr. Jody Carrington — a beautiful conversation about connection, storytelling, and why being seen matters so deeply in midlife.
• How to Turn Your Body Image Inside Out in Midlife with Deb Shatker & Whitney Otto — practical frameworks for getting unstuck from the patterns that keep us at war with how we look.
• Ageism and Body Image in Midlife with Deb Benf

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