Front Row Dads with Jon Vroman What Happens When 6 Men Meet Monthly for 3 Hours (No Advice. No Fixing.)
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Mar 18, 2026 Brent Perkins, father of two, author of Paper Cuts, and builder of the band program that runs small, monthly men’s groups. He explains what these three-hour bands do, how they become a gym for presence and vulnerability, why listening beats problem-solving, and how showing up there changes how men show up at home.
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Bands Provide A Unique Outlet For Men's Inner Life
- Men rarely get deep, unscripted spaces to voice their inner life the way many women do with friends.
- Brent says bands recreate a visceral, safe outlet where men can stop performing and truly be witnessed without fixing.
Use Four Pillars To Build A Safe Band Container
- Create four pillars for a band: deep confidentiality, presence, no-advice witnessing, and practiced listening.
- Brent explains confidentiality means you won't even tell your closest confidant, and presence includes phones off and board-level attention.
Show Up Monthly And Go To Your Vulnerability Edge
- Treat monthly band meetings like a board meeting: show up consistently and protect the time.
- Brent says success is men showing up and taking themselves to the edge of vulnerability rather than missing sessions.