Negotiate Anything The Cost of Staying Silent—and the Leadership Power of Assertiveness
9 snips
Mar 17, 2026 
Ivna Curi, assertiveness coach and founder of the Assertive Way Institute, trains professionals—especially women—to speak up with clarity and warmth. She breaks down the four parts of assertiveness and how respect languages and delivery shape responses. Conversations cover why people stay silent, the CARE pitfalls, practical scripts like DESC, and ways to prevent backlash while being effective.
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Four Part Definition Of Assertiveness
- Assertiveness has four parts: express yourself, show respect, stay calm, and be effective.
- Ivna explains effectiveness means planning your message so it influences behavior rather than just venting frustration.
Ask What Makes People Feel Respected
- Ask neighbors what makes them feel respected and what disrespects them to learn their respect language.
- Kwame and Ivna recommend simple check-ins mid-conversation when you sense the other person's baseline has shifted.
Social Safety Often Beats Speaking Up
- People avoid speaking up due to cognitive dissonance between wanting voice and preserving social safety.
- Ivna cites a Microsoft/MIT study showing many employees rarely speak up even on issues affecting their work.
