Identity, conditioning and behaviour: listener question

I understand that the concept of good and bad are just that, and the identity is fixed in place, through this process.  

So, if I was in this scenario, and purposely change the words with no reference to "you're good", who is taking control there?

Who makes the change?  Is it is something to do with prior conditioning or does the identity have some ability to affect change?

As you have said before to try and answer our own questions....

So, what came up is - Is it the identity trying not to do something wrong, or to correct itself, which I guess would come from some conditioning? Is the identity and conditioning the same thing, I think maybe? However, I may be seeing conditioning and identity as separate, in a way that "I have conditioning".  I think that change happens from new thinking but can't see it in this situation. I am getting a bit lost there.