Become New with John Ortberg 17. Stopping Condemnation Before it Starts
Feb 18, 2026
A Lenten invitation to give up condemnation and explore where shame begins. Traces shame from Genesis through psychology, trauma-informed theology, and lived experience. Contrasts guilt with shame and introduces the concepts of a shame concierge and a grace concierge. Encourages bringing shame into the light and finding acceptance, love, and belonging.
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Last Word With My Wife
- John Ortberg shares a domestic example about wanting the last word with his wife over a remembered story.
- He uses this to illustrate how the urge to have the last word appears even in small, everyday moments.
Shame Is Both Victimhood And Agency
- Shame often originates from being sinned against before we ever sinned, mixing victimhood and responsibility.
- John Ortberg emphasizes this mixture makes shame complex and deeply entangled with our sin and suffering.
Shame Fears Rejection; Guilt Fears Punishment
- Shame differs from guilt because shame fears rejection while guilt fears punishment.
- Eleanor Stump and Kurt Thompson show shame damages love's desire for union, not just moral repair.
