Ep 226: Kait & JJ Tomlin: Your Checklist Is the Problem

Kait and JJ Tomlin (the couple behind Heart of Dating) join Levi and Jennie for a hilarious, super-helpful conversation about what dating looks like right now—and why so many women feel frustrated while so many men feel shut down. From “80% isn’t enough” expectations to the weird ways dating apps have turned people into filters and checkboxes, they get real about what’s happening in the church and what actually helps.

Along the way, they unpack what to look for beneath the surface (hello, teachability + humility), why “trajectory” matters more than perfection, and how to think about attraction with more wisdom than a swipe. Plus, you’ll hear their own unexpected meet-cute—from a Zoom “blind date bachelor” moment to long-distance FaceTimes and a relationship built on character (wolf sweater and all).

Connect with us on social!

Kait: @kaitness 

JJ: @jjtomlin

Levi: @levilusko

Jennie: @jennielusko

Fresh Life Church: @freshlife

[Links]

Heart of Dating: 

Heart of Dating Podcast: 

School of Dating (16-week mentorship): 

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Time Stamps

01:50 – The dating convo everyone needs (not just singles)

03:10 – Why women feel stuck and men feel discouraged

11:17 – The real “bar” for maturity: responsibility + discipleship

19:55 – Drop the filters: height, attraction, and dating apps

27:14 – Their Zoom meet-cute (and “Emily” makes an appearance)

40:02 – Heart of Dating: podcast, mentorship, coaching, and community