When Christmas Doesn't look Like You Hoped

When Christmas expectations fall apart, the ache can feel overwhelming—but Proverbs 13:12 (often paired with this theme) reminds us that deferred hopes don’t have to end in despair. This devotional explores how to navigate a Christmas that looks nothing like you imagined while staying rooted in hope, prayer, and meaningful connection. Whether a loved one can’t come home, financial strain reshapes your traditions, or grief is pulling at your heart, God meets you in the disappointment and offers strength for a new kind of holiday.

Highlights

• How to process the grief of missing loved ones during Christmas

• The emotional weight of hope deferred—and God’s ability to redeem hard seasons

• Practical ways to create new traditions when the old ones are no longer possible

• The role of prayer when circumstances feel impossible

• Why staying connected—digitally or in person—still matters

• Simple ways to support others who are grieving or struggling this season

• A reminder that Christmas is ultimately about presence, not perfection

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Gift Inspiration: Crosswalk's Holiday Gift Guide

Looking for a meaningful way to celebrate the season? Check out our Holiday Gift Guide—from beautifully illustrated Bibles and devotionals to novels, greeting cards, and picture books, there’s something for everyone on your list. Wrap up stories for loved ones, tuck a book into your own nightstand, and join us in celebrating the wonder of giving this Christmas!

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Full Transcript Below:

When Christmas Doesn’t Look the Way You Hoped
By: Michelle Lazurek

Bible Reading:
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:16

I'm not coming home for Christmas.

These words hit hard when my husband and I realized my son would not be home for Christmas this year. In his third year of college, he has a girlfriend and wants to spend Christmas with her and her family. While we love who he's with and want him to have a good relationship with her family, it hurts us deeply that we won't get to see him during one of our favorite times of the year. 

For me, my favorite part of Christmas is not opening presents for myself, but watching my children open their presents on Christmas morning. It just won’t be the same without him. 

If you are grieving the loss of a loved one or a loved one won't be at Christmas like you'd hoped, you are not alone. Many of us will have a different type of Christmas this year. Sometimes it's because family and loved ones can't make the trip to see you. For others, it's a financial issue, and relatives can't afford to buy presents like they used to. 

A great way to make the most of the holidays, even if they don't look like you remember, is to create new traditions. While it's OK to have feelings like anger and sadness over the loss of years past, the best way to forge ahead is to make new memories in this new chapter in your life. For us, it means making the most of having our daughter home in the few remaining years she has left with us. It also means connecting with our son through Zoom or phone so we can be together for the holidays. 

It is difficult to hold on to hope when it seems like all is lost. The above verse tells us that when we hold out hope for something that seems far beyond our reach, it can feel as if our life is falling apart. However, God is a God of miracles. He can turn any situation to his advantage. Above all, he can respond to requests, even the most difficult ones, in a moment.

The verse above reminds us not to give up hope. Keep on praying. Keep on asking God to answer your prayer request, even if it has been years. Christmas is a time for miracles! Our ability to still pray for situations that seem nearly impossible tests our faith, stretching and growing us spiritually. God wants us to rely on him and ask him in faith for anything. Although we may not always get what we ask for, it is essential that we still ask and pray, trusting that God will allow the situation to turn out exactly as he wants.

Consider new ways to make the most of your holiday. Make contact with your relatives who won't be able to make the trip. Offer to pay for gifts for a loved one who is financially strapped this year. Observe the true meaning of the season by being the hands and feet of Christ, especially during the holiday season. 

Although the holidays are meant to be joyful, they aren't for everyone. Sometimes people grieve deep losses during the holidays. Just because someone is suffering doesn't mean you can't help them make the most of it. If you're the one grieving, lean on others for help. Don't be afraid to ask for prayer or for help from those who can offer it. It may mean your family members bring the side dishes while you provide the main entree for the holiday meal. 

Perhaps it means not giving gifts this year. Whatever you need to do, do it to make your holiday the best it can be. Even if it's not the way you hoped, do what you need to do. Christmas ultimately is not about gifts or extravagance. Instead, it is about spending time with loved ones who are near you. It is also a great way to connect with those who are far away. If your relatives can't come to you, go to them and make the effort to see them.

Pray and ask God for everything, even the situations that seem hopeless. Don't allow your heart to be troubled. Instead, make the most of your holiday season and do what you can to connect with loved ones and observe the real meaning of the season.

Father, let us be people who remember who you are and what the holiday season is for. Let us remember that Christmas is not about gifts, but instead about being connected to family. Let us reach out to communicate with family members who cannot make it this season. Amen.

Intersecting Faith & Life:

Is there a loved one - someone you haven't seen but would love to connect with - this holiday season? What is one step you can take to make that connection happen?

Further Reading:
Matthew 1:23

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