The School of Greatness 285 Esther Perel on Sexual Desire and Successful Relationships in the Modern World
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Feb 3, 2016 
Renowned relationship expert Esther Perel discusses the impact of partners on relationship skills, the link between emotional risk and desire, dread and anxiety in life and relationships, living a big and meaningful life beyond material success, neglect and contempt in relationships, effective incentive systems for long-term relationships, the impact of divorce on families, and navigating monogamy and relationship options.
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Relationship Destroyers
- Key relationship destroyers are indifference, neglect, violence (including microaggressions), and contempt.
- Contempt is the deadliest, degrading the other person's essence.
Shifting Relationship Dynamics
- Societal shifts in the last 60 years have drastically changed relationship dynamics, particularly around sex.
- Modern relationships seek both stability and playfulness from one partner, a historically unprecedented challenge.
Sustaining Desire
- Sustaining desire requires understanding that women prioritize seduction and emotional connection over the physical act.
- Foreplay begins at the end of the previous orgasm, not minutes before, involving pacing and mystery.