Behavioral Grooves Podcast What Dating Apps Miss About Attraction | Paul Eastwick
Feb 9, 2026
Paul Eastwick, relationship scientist and author, challenges how we think about attraction. He explains why checklists and apps mislead. He explores how attraction develops over time, the role of shared history and rituals, and better ways to meet people through real social networks and activities.
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Attraction Follows Interaction
- Attraction often follows interaction, not checklists or pre-stated preferences.
- We explain attraction retrospectively, making preferences appear to predict who we choose.
Attractiveness Is Not Universal
- Consensus on attractiveness is modest and drops as people get to know someone.
- Idiosyncratic compatibility increasingly dominates attraction over time.
Strong Relationships Can Start Bland
- Many successful relationships start with low or middling initial impressions and grow over time.
- Starting attraction level doesn’t determine whether a relationship will reach a high plateau.
