Do you really know? How can I avoid falling victim to roaching?
Mar 27, 2026
They explain what roaching is and how it shows up early in dating. The podcast describes common hiding behaviors like secret profiles and casual dates. It compares the cockroach metaphor to concealed partners and contrasts honest polyamory with deceptive secrecy. Practical tips cover clear communication and early boundary talks to avoid being misled.
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What Roaching Means
- Roaching is when someone appears committed early in dating while secretly keeping other active romantic options.
- The term likens discovery to finding a cockroach — one reveal implies many hidden others, collapsing trust quickly.
Polyamory Misused As A Cover
- Some people use polyamory language to excuse nontransparent dating, which undermines consensual non-monogamy.
- Joseph Chance notes roachers may adopt polyamory as a veneer to rationalise their problematic behaviour.
Start A DTR Early
- Do have early DTR conversations: ask about intentions, relationship style, and exclusivity.
- Joseph Chance recommends explicitly stating you want a serious relationship to protect yourself from ambiguous dating games.