ADHD Chatter AuDHD Expert: What Female AuDHD Really Feels Like, THIS Trait Makes You Vulnerable!
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Mar 3, 2026 Dr. Samantha Hiew, a PhD clinical researcher and advocate for neurodivergent women, explains what AuDHD feels like and how it often looks different in females. She covers masking, RSD and how autism can hide ADHD. She also talks about relationship impacts, boundary and recovery strategies, and how to spot and advocate for AuDHD in women.
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Gender Bias Causes Missed Diagnoses
- Diagnostic criteria are gender-biased and often miss autistic traits in women who mask and seek social connection.
- Hiew notes autistic women can appear neurotypical socially yet struggle to maintain friendships, causing diagnostic dismissal.
Three Denials Before A Working Diagnosis
- Hiew describes being denied autism on the NHS three times because she presented as sociable and had interests that clinicians discounted.
- Assessors attributed her challenges to trauma and overlooked female autistic presentation and masking.
Relationship Push–Pull Created Longlasting Dysregulation
- During a prolonged abusive relationship and divorce, Hiew developed RSD-like trauma and was once told she had 'borderline traits' by a trainee therapist.
- She links push–pull intermittent reinforcement to prolonged dysregulation and mislabeling by services.
