This week, Christopher and Wendy talk about struggles within families. How do I deal with my dad's pornography use? How do I help my mother be at peace with my upcoming marriage? As a disabled person, how do I find a spouse who loves me for me?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
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Q1: I’m a 24 year old female and I have 5 younger siblings. I currently live at home with my family.
Can you please comment on how pornography use by a father can impact a daughter’s life and her relationship with her father. My father is currently viewing pornography. My mom is trying but she can’t control his behaviour and my dad is trying but I’m not sure he sees it as a problem or he says he’s trying but he says he needs this to cope with stress now. Addiction is tough and I understand sexual addiction and alcohol are tricky to stop and this leads to escalating fights in my family at times. I’m of course going to counselling and trying to reach out for support from friends and pastoral care. I’d really appreciate prayers and input!
Q2: As I prepare for my upcoming marriage, I've found that my family (mostly my mother) has struggled with the idea of me getting married and "leaving her". (Even though she prayed for me to find a spouse for many years and my family approves and loves my fiance.) She has made comments about how I spend more time with his side of the family or worries how we'll handle future holidays/weekends; it seems that she is hurt by it. I should note that I'm also the first one to get married in my family. How do I handle this in the midst of the joyous time of preparing to enter a sacrament with my fiance?
Q3: I’ve been disabled from birth and marriage is something that’s a desire of my heart for sure. My counselor made me aware of the fact that people will sometimes marry disabled people to obtain government disability benefits. I'm afraid of becoming a victim of this ruthless practice. Any words of wisdom?
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Resources mentioned this week:
Strive by Matt Fradd - Resource for addressing pornography use
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Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.
Featuring music by Mike Mangione.
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