Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Foundations - Part 4

In these final three podcast from the GCM: Foundations semianr, we will be looking to answer the following questions: (a) What does the Bible actually teach and what do Christians only culturally assume about gender roles? (b) What are the pre-requisites to the healthy and satisfying implementation of roles within marriage? (c) What kind of process can a couple walk through in order to effectively discover what roles will look like in their unique marriage?

There is an overlooked assumption in these questions – none of us know what we’re doing when we get started. Even if you grew up in a healthy family, there is no guarantee that what worked for your parents will work for you. Even within the guidance of biblical parameters, there is much that must be tailored to your unique personalities, skills, and schedules.

Another complicating variable is that gender mattered very little before marriage. Once you past the “cooties” stage of life, the only functional gender differences were which public restrooms you were allowed to use. Yet once we’re married, then God’s design for making us male and female takes on a significance that was largely irrelevant.

“Up until then [testimony of a newlywed couple], we had pretty much lived in a unisex world, as students taking the same classes, competing for the same grades on a level playing field, rarely forced into any consideration of what God’s intention may have been in making us male and female (p. 171).” Tim Keller in The Meaning of Marriage

Is it any wonder that gender roles are a frequent point of conflict and confusion? We haven’t even discussed the abuse of gender roles as complicating variables. Fortunately, you are not fighting a culture battle in your home. As you think about marriage roles, you are merely discerning how to honor God’s design and enjoy one another in your family.

There is a second assumption we will bring to this chapter – the majority of married life does not require a constant focus on the biblical gender functions of headship and submission. The members of the Trinity (Father, Son, and Spirit) do not have to constantly emphasize headship and submission, but they are present. A healthy marriage is the same.

In this podcast, we will define those aspects of a husband’s and wife’s job description are not gender-specific:

1. personal maturity as expressed by the fruit of the Spirit,
2. ability to be a healthy friend as defined by the one another commands of the New Testament, and
3. functional living marked by managing key life resources well. 

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