We Can Do Hard Things 237. Why We Love the Way We Love: Attachment Styles with Dr. Becky Kennedy
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Aug 17, 2023 
Dr. Becky Kennedy, expert in Attachment Styles, discusses the impact of attachment styles on our relationships and personal growth. She emphasizes the importance of rewiring our mental coding and addressing childhood attachments. The podcast explores how childhood patterns shape attraction in adulthood and the significance of repairing relationships. It also highlights the transformative power of communicating with our inner child and provides insights into attachment parenting and providing a secure base for children.
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Attachment Is An Evolutionary Survival System
- Attachment is an evolutionary system that motivates children to seek proximity and learn what is safe.
- Human dependence during long brain development makes relational experience shape wiring deeply.
Most Attachment Wiring Completes By Age Three
- Around age three the brain has completed most early wiring that encodes expectations about relationships.
- That wiring explains why past attachment patterns often return in present moments.
Attraction Repeats Childhood Patterns
- Adult attraction often activates early attachment patterns, so we gravitate toward partners who recreate childhood dynamics.
- Familiar discomfort can feel like home because the body knows how to perform that role.