EP 468: What Believing You Don't Deserve Love Is Costing You with Charlotte

In this episode of Over It and On With It, Christine Hassler coaches Charlotte, a woman grappling with feelings of unworthiness and a deep-seated fear of being seen. Charlotte's inner struggle stems from a belief that she does not deserve love and attention, which leads her to hide her true self in many of her relationships.

During the coaching session, Christine helped Charlotte uncover how her childhood experiences of growing up with siblings with special needs and feeling responsible for minimizing her own needs contributed to her pattern of people-pleasing. This has resulted in Charlotte often putting others before herself, even to her detriment. Christine guides Charlotte to understand that this pattern, which was once a coping mechanism, no longer serves her as an adult, especially in her role as a mother.

As they work through these deep emotions, Christine helps Charlotte recognize the importance of self-love, boundaries, and allowing herself to be seen and supported rather than always being the one to please others.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you often feel like you are not deserving of love or attention?
• Do you have difficulty receiving love and support, even though you crave it?
• Are you prone to people-pleasing and putting others' needs above your own?
• Can you identify patterns from your childhood that influence how you show up in your relationships today?

The Guest's Key Insights & A-HA's:

• Charlotte's belief that she doesn't deserve love stems from her childhood, where she felt she needed to make things easier for her family, especially her mother, who had other children with special needs.
• Christine helps Charlotte realize that her habit of being "low maintenance" and avoiding taking up space prevents her from fully experiencing love and connection in her adult relationships.
• By identifying this belief and the behaviors it drives, Charlotte can start to reclaim her sense of worth and build relationships where her needs are met, too.
• The session emphasizes the importance of healing old wounds, setting boundaries, and embracing self-worth.

How to Get Over It & On With It:

• Acknowledge that you are just as deserving of love and attention as anyone else.
• Begin setting boundaries that protect your emotional well-being and ensure your needs are met.
• Practice receiving love and support without guilt or fear of being a burden.
• Reframe any childhood beliefs that make you feel less worthy of care and attention.

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