The Uncover YOU podcast Ep 193: When They Pull Away (The Avoidant Strategy)
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Feb 12, 2026 A candid dive into the push and pull between craving closeness and needing space. They explore the bodily alarm that triggers withdrawal and the inner critic that builds stories to justify it. The conversation highlights somatic release, reparenting childhood wounds, and practical practices to build lasting safety in relationships.
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Sitting With The Date 3–5 Ick Led To A Physical Release
- Pontus felt a recurring mix of disgust and hopelessness around date three to five that triggered a strong belly reaction and inner judgment.
- He sat with the feeling 40 minutes, repeated loving phrases, and released a deep burp that felt like old stored emotion being liberated.
Pulling Away Is A Survival Strategy Against Feeling
- Pulling away in relationships often masks fear of an inner emotional experience rather than the partner's behavior.
- Eva explains the survival strategy: the amygdala hijacks responses to protect from overwhelming feelings, creating entrenched unconscious habits.
Validation Chasing Feels Like A Dopamine High
- The chase for new validation (dating many people) acts like a dopaminergic reward loop that temporarily fills an 'empty cup.'
- Pontus recognises this pattern as seeking worth through external approval rather than internal safety.