The Commentators' View: Kit gripes & anxiety dreams

Aug 15, 2025

Join the lively banter as hosts delve into the unique challenges of football commentary at stadiums like Sunderland. They share their excitement about upcoming Premier League players and discuss the intricacies of terms in the Great Glossary of Football Commentary. Listen in on hilarious anecdotes and the competitive Clash of the Commentators, alongside reflections on anxiety dreams that keep commentators on their toes. With a mix of nostalgia and anticipation, the season ahead promises thrill and laughter.

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ANECDOTE

Stationery Rituals And The Red Book

John and Ian describe their stationery rituals: John needs specific loose-leaf paper, blue Bic pens and a corrector pen; Ian uses a 'Red Book' for records.
Ian is starting book 28 for the upcoming season and laments the tedious task of writing every squad player early on.

INSIGHT

Rhythm And Production Discipline Matter

Early-season commentaries feel rusty because broadcasters haven't been in rhythm; the Community Shield helps reacclimatise.
Production discipline (short reporter inserts, tight reports) is emphasised to ensure smooth Saturday coverage.

ADVICE

Keep Goal Commentary Concise

Use economy of language when describing goals: be short, sharp and punchy to encapsulate score, celebration and context.
Resist over-explaining a goal; concise clips often convey everything needed effectively.

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John Murray, Ian Dennis & Ali Bruce-Ball talk football, travel & language. It turns out Sunderland being back in the Premier League may pose some problems for commentators. Which new players are the guys most excited to see in action? Surely John can’t lose again in Clash of the Commentators, and will any new terms be added to the Great Glossary of Football Commentary? WhatsApp voicenotes to 08000 289 369. Emails to TCV@bbc.co.uk

08:15 5 Live returns with 209 Premier League commentaries 11:50 ‘Challenging’ commentary position at the Stadium of Light 15:25 Which players are the guys excited to commentate on? 16:48 Benjamin Šeško or Benjamin Sesko? 18:17 Who will be challenging for the title? 20:00 Any new season resolutions? 22:02 What’s in John’s pencil case? 24:53 Feeling rusty at the start of the season 31:03 Will John lose again in Clash of the Commentators? 36:25 Great Glossary of Football Commentary 47:23 Ian’s FPL beef with Chris Sutton

BBC Sounds / 5 Live Premier League commentaries: Sat 1500 Sunderland v West Ham, Sat 1500 Tottenham v Burnley on Sports Extra, Sat 1730 Wolves v Man City, Sun 1400 Chelsea v Crystal Palace, Sun 1400 Nottingham Forest v Brentford on Sports Extra, Sun 1630 Man Utd v Arsenal.

Glossary so far: 2-0 is a dangerous score, After you Claude, All-Premier League affair, Aplomb, Brace, Brandished, Breaking the deadlock, Bundled over the line, Champions elect / champions apparent, Clinical finish, Commentator’s curse, Coupon buster, Cultured/Educated left foot, Denied by the woodwork, Draught excluder, Elimination line, Fellow countryman, Foot race, Formerly of this parish, Fox in the box, Free hit, Goalkeepers’ Union, Goalmouth scramble, Good touch for a big man, Honeymoon Period, In and around, In the shop window, Keeping ball under their spell, Languishing, Loitering with intent, Marching orders, Nestle in the bottom corner, Numbered derbies, Nutmeg, Opposite number, Park the bus, PK for penalty-kick, Postage stamp, Put it in the mixer, Put their laces through it, Rasping shot, Red wine not white wine, Relegation six-pointer, Rooted at the bottom, Route One, Roy of the Rovers stuff, Sending the goalkeeper the wrong way, Sleeping giants, Slide rule pass, Small matter of, Spiders web, Stayed hit, Steepling, Stinging the palms, Stonewall penalty, Straight off the training ground, Stramash, Team that likes to play football, Throw their cap on it, Thruppenny bit head / 50p head, Towering header, Turning into a basketball match, Turning into a cricket score, Two good feet, Walking a disciplinary tightrope, Wand of a left foot, We’ve got a cup tie on our hands, Where the owl sleeps, Winger in their pocket, Wrap foot around it, Your De Bruynes, your Gundogans etc.