Project Parenthood Why is playing with your child so hard?
Oct 6, 2025
Playing with children can sometimes feel overwhelming due to emotional triggers from our own childhood experiences. Dr. Nanika Coor explores how these 'shark music' reactions impact parental interactions. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing and naming these feelings to foster deeper connections during play. The discussion includes practical tips for transforming play into shared joy, reframing it as a healing opportunity, and establishing rituals that make it easier. Acknowledging our body’s responses can also enhance our parenting journey.
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Shark Music Is Your Nervous System Alarm
- 'Shark music' is the nervous system's alarm that misreads a child's invite as threat.
- That alarm causes annoyance, shutdown, over-control, or brushing off the child.
Systemic Stress Amplifies Play Resistance
- Systemic pressures (racism, ableism, classism, homophobia, transphobia) can intensify shark music.
- Childhood environments with little shared joy make invitations to play feel unsafe.
Core Sensitivities Shape Reactions
- Core sensitivities are protective patterns formed in early relationships and not moral flaws.
- They drive separation-, esteem-, or safety-based reactions during play invites.
