What Your Attachment Style Reveals & The Trouble with Predictions

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Apr 20, 2026

Guest

Carissa Véliz

Guest

Amir Levine

Carissa Véliz, Oxford ethicist and author on the politics of prediction, and Dr. Amir Levine, Columbia psychiatrist who researches adult attachment, join to discuss prediction and attachment. They explore how forecasts can shape futures and why algorithms mislead. They also outline the four attachment styles, how pairings interact, and why small consistent behaviors matter in relationships.

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ADVICE

Prioritize Secure Partners To Stabilize Relationships

If you find a secure partner, they act like a relationship coach and can help you become more secure over time.
Secure people tolerate small slights and provide stability, so prioritize security when choosing partners.

INSIGHT

Why Anxious Avoidant Pairs Create Drama

Anxious and avoidant partners commonly pair because each confirms the other's negative expectations about relationships.
That dynamic produces volatility: avoidant withdrawal triggers anxious protest behaviors and a persistent drama loop.

ADVICE

Use Attachment Clues Early When Dating

Learn to identify your and others' attachment styles early in dating to avoid long-term mismatch.
Listen for patterns in how people talk about needs and availability instead of assuming they'll change for you.

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Choosing between two options can feel straightforward. Add a third—and suddenly the decision gets harder. Add more, and it can become overwhelming. There’s a surprising reason your brain struggles when options multiply, and it can quietly influence the choices you make every day. https://thedecisionlab.com/biases/decoy-effect

In every close relationship, there is an underlying pattern that shapes how you connect, respond, and react—your attachment style. It influences how you handle conflict, how secure you feel, and even who you’re drawn to. Dr. Amir Levine, psychiatrist, neuroscientist at Columbia University, and co-author of Attached (https://amzn.to/48CJBKV) and Secure (https://amzn.to/47TdTcd), explains the four primary attachment styles and how understanding yours—and your partner’s—can shed light on relationship dynamics that often feel confusing or frustrating. If you want to explore your own attachment style, you can take a quiz at: https://amirlevinemd.com/

Predictions are supposed to help us understand what’s coming next. But in many cases, they do something far stranger—they actually help shape the future they claim to forecast. And despite the confidence of experts, humans are notoriously bad at predicting what will happen, even in fields they know well. Carissa Véliz, associate professor at the Institute for Ethics in AI at the University of Oxford and author of Prophecy: Prediction, Power, and the Fight for the Future, from Ancient Oracles to AI (https://amzn.to/4mleiKt), explains why predictions are so unreliable, how they influence behavior, and why we should be more skeptical of them than we are.

When you need advice or someone to truly understand what you’re going through, not all perspectives are equal. There’s evidence that people of a certain age—and life experience—may be better at offering empathy and insight than others. https://isr.umich.edu/news-events/news-releases/age-and-empathy-middle-aged-are-most-likely-to-feel-your-pain

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices