Autistic Culture Presents Late Diagnosis Club: How Abbey Realised She Was Autistic After Decades of Masking
In this meeting of The Late Diagnosis Club, Dr Angela Kingdon welcomes Abbey Thompson — a librarian, classically trained vocalist, prize-winning baker, gamer, social justice bard, and self-described random fact machine.
Abbey is a fat, queer, neurodivergent woman living in Los Angeles with two orange cats and a deep commitment to creativity without perfection.
Diagnosed with ADHD in her 40s and later recognising she was also Autistic, Abbey describes how finally naming her neurodivergence didn’t just bring understanding — it brought permission. Permission to be loud, to be big, to be joyful, to be mediocre, and to exist without apology.
Together, Angela and Abbey explore late identification, fatness and bullying, perfectionism, burnout, AuDHD, creativity as regulation, and the radical act of letting go of shame. This episode is an invitation to stop fixing yourself — and start living.
🪑 Attendees
Chair: Dr Angela Kingdon — Author, community-builder, and Autistic advocate
Guest: Abbey Thompson — AuDHD librarian, vocalist, baker, and creator of the Mediocre Arts and Crafts Club
You: The Listener!
🗒️ Meeting Agenda
- Opening remarks from the Chair
- Member introduction: Masking, bullying, and being “too much”
- Discussion: Late diagnosis, burnout, friendship, fatness, queerness, and shame
- Sensory processing, burnout, animals, justice sensitivity, and belonging
- Key learnings
- Club announcements
🧾 Minutes from the Meeting
1️⃣ Opening Remarks
Angela introduces Abbey as someone whose life defies neat categories — librarian, opera singer, baker, gamer, and cat enthusiast — all in one person. From the outset, this conversation sets aside productivity and leans into permission: to be multifaceted, messy, and fully yourself.
2️⃣ Member Introduction: Abbey’s Story
Abbey describes growing up as a high-achieving, compliant student who internalised bullying and othering — largely attributing friendship difficulties to being fat in a culture that relentlessly punished difference.
Early signs of neurodivergence, including hyperfocus, rigidity, gullibility, sensory sensitivity, and being “too loud,” were reframed for decades as personal flaws. Only later did Abbey come to understand these traits through an Autistic and ADHD lens — one that offered compassion instead of criticism.
3️⃣ Discussion Highlights
- Late diagnosis: ADHD and autism identified in Abbey’s 40s
- Burnout: Years of overachievement, graduate school, and unrecognised exhaustion
- Masking: Being capable on the outside while struggling internally
- Fatness & bullying: How body stigma obscured neurodivergence
- Creativity as regulation: Singing, baking, crafting, and making for joy
- Mediocre Arts and Crafts Club: Creating without perfection or monetisation
- Shame: Letting go of self-policing and internalised judgment
- Community: Belonging as protection and healing
4️⃣ Key Learnings
- Competence can hide profound struggle
- Shame is not a motivator — it’s a barrier
- Creativity doesn’t need to be perfect to be meaningful
- Late diagnosis can offer forgiveness, not just answers
- Community helps return shame to where it belongs
- You don’t need permission to exist — but it helps when you finally give it to yourself
📌 Notice Board
📣 Club Announcements
🎧 The Late Diagnosis Club is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and all major platforms.
💬 Join our online meetups and community at latediagnosis.club.
📌 Check the LDC Notice Board for Member Contributions
💜 There is a small charge — but no one is turned away for lack of funds.
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🎙️ Executive Producers: Amy Burns, Anamaria B Call, Andrew Banner, Anna Goodson, Ashley Apelzin, Audrea Volker, Ben Coulson, Brian Churcek, Cappy Hamper, Carley Biblin, Charlene Deva, Chloe Cross, Clay Duhigg, Clayton Oliver, Danny Dunn, Daria Brown, David Garrido, Emily Burgess, Eric Crane, Erik Stenerud, Fiona Baker, Grace Norman, Helen Shaddock, Jaimie Collins, Jason Killian, Jen Unruh, Jennifer Carpenter, Julia Tretter, Kathie Watson-Gray, Kenneth Knowles, Kira Cotter, Kristine Lang, Kyle Raney, Llew P Williams, Laura Alvarado, Laura De Vito, Laura Provonsha, Lily George, Nelly Darmi, Nigel Rogers, Rachel Miller, Tim Scott, Tyler Kunz, Victoria Steed, Yanina Wood.
🎧 Producers: AJ Knight, Bobby Simon, Da Kovac, Eleanor Collins, Emily Griffiths, Hannah Hughes, Jennifer Kemp, Jonas Fløde, Kate F, Katie N Benitez, Kendra Murphy, Lisa Dennys, Logan Wall, Louise Lomas, Melissa Nance, Nicola Owen, Rebecka Johansson, Sam Morris, Sarah Hannah Morris.
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