Belonging: The Search for Home

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Mar 11, 2021

The quest for belonging is examined through the lenses of familial ties, cultural bonds, and modern alienation. Listeners explore the tension between fitting in and embracing individuality in today's society. The podcast also delves into the impact of childhood secrets and the need for supportive communities. Through dream analysis, the hosts showcase how our subconscious reflects our struggles with belonging and identity, emphasizing that true connection can be transformative, whether in recovery groups or shared interests.

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INSIGHT

Belonging Creates Safety

Lisa Marchiano highlights the link between belonging and safety.
When we belong, we feel safe, echoing Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

INSIGHT

Belonging: A Survival Instinct

Lisa Marchiano points out that the need to belong is hardwired.
Historically, being excluded from a group meant vulnerability and potential death.

INSIGHT

Belonging vs. Individuation

Lisa Marchiano discusses the tension between belonging and individuation.
Belonging requires conformity, while individuation involves separating from the collective.

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Horses herd, birds flock, whales pod, and people tribe. The need to belong is as intrinsic to human nature as the need for food, touch, clothing and shelter. We belong to families, communities, ideas and ideals, yet must also separate from them in service to our own individuation.

As we grow, we belong to teams and clubs, and find new homes in school and at work. Is the price of belonging rigid conformity and sameness, or is uniqueness valued and difference supported? We later express attitude and attachment to home in the houses we inhabit: photos and mementos honor connections within a framework of personal expression. Jung built Bollingen, the unique home in which he was “in the midst of my true life [and] most deeply myself.” To be at home in the world and belong to ourselves is the mature manifestation of affiliation, differentiation, and creative endeavor.

Here's the dream we analyze:

"I see our home landscape from air some distance away from the home, as though I'm seeing it while hovering/flying in the air - a birds-eye view. I see that the bungalow, that's our home, is in a ruined condition. The building appears deserted, a destroyed habitat in time of apocalypse with its bare skeleton remaining - the base and some misshapen columns, like the one in destroyed cities of war-torn Syria, except there are no large number of buildings in the vicinity. It's the only building in the area. During one time that I dreamt this recurring dream, I saw my paternal grandfather walking around the building and when I approached him, he kind of said with his body language, "What do you want? I got nothing!" and the dream ended. His hands were out in front at hip height as if showing he had nothing."

References:

John Hill. https://www.amazon.com/Home-World-Symmetries-Analytical-Psychology/dp/1935528009/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=John+Hill+and+home&qid=1614705546&s=books&sr=1-1

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