What is the secret to changing patterns that seem set in stone? Listener question

I have a question for your podcast but not sure of the exact question- it’s something like…

The personal development world is filled with ideas, concepts, tools and techniques on how to change your life. To overcome money blocks, lose weight, find love, be successful in business, be visible and popular etc. I see within Personal Development there’s a mix of focussing on personal agency and also focussing on an unknown force sometimes called ‘universal laws’.

I remember experiencing tremendous freedom when the realisation that the self I had thought of as me was a creation, made up and that there were infinite possibilities and a limitless nature of being to experience. 

So why after years and years do the same patterns continue to play out. What truly can change them or are some patterns meant to be our life experience in the same way someone born with no legs isn’t going to grow legs in this lifetime. Are some things set in stone or are all energetic patterns possible to change?

What would you say is the secret to changing seemingly set in stone patterns such as never having more than just enough money or always being in intimate relationships that don’t work?