Dating Intentionally 259. The 5 Stages of Dating & Why Most People Don't Make It to Commitment w/ Amy Chan
May 1, 2026
Amy Chan, relationship expert and author of Unsingle, shares the five-stage dating funnel and why small strategic shifts change outcomes. She contrasts surface-level attraction with character tests, explains the no-standards vs over-icking spectrum, and covers building intuition, creating spark when dates fall flat, and practical ways to meet people.
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Dating Works Like A Five Stage Funnel
- Dating works like a funnel with five stages: prospecting, discovery, evaluation, commitment, and retention.
- Amy Chan says strategy must change by stage because success in one stage (e.g., getting dates) doesn't guarantee progress in later stages.
Troubleshoot The Exact Stage You're Stuck
- Troubleshoot where you get stuck in the funnel before changing strategy or blaming external factors.
- Amy Chan recommends pinpointing the exact stage (e.g., discovery vs evaluation) so you can apply specific fixes instead of quitting dating.
Reveal More Than Charm On Early Dates
- If you stall after early dates, practice emotional self-disclosure instead of defaulting to charm or humor.
- Amy notes people who rely on attractiveness or jokey deflection create no material for bonding in evaluation.
