Elevator Systems - Bowen Family Systems Theory S2 Ep1 Triangles: Inside & Outside Positions with Kathleen Cotter Cauley
Jan 7, 2025
Kathleen Cotter Cauley, a licensed marriage and family therapist and faculty member of the Bowen Center, discusses the fascinating world of triangles in family systems. She explores how inside and outside positions affect relationships and shares personal anecdotes about family dynamics, like feeling excluded at gatherings. The conversation highlights the importance of self-awareness in navigating complex relational dynamics and trusting adult children to make their own choices. Listeners will walk away with tools to manage anxiety and deepen their understanding of their own interactions.
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Everyday Language of Triangles
- Common phrases like "taking sides," "ganging up," and "us vs. them" reflect the dynamics of inside and outside positions.
- When things get tough, people seek relief from the pressure of "team" dynamics, preferring phrases like "not my circus."
The Pain of Being Out of the Loop
- Kathleen Cotter-Cawley missed a family gathering, experiencing the discomfort of not being "in the know."
- Her nephews later acknowledged her FOMO (fear of missing out), highlighting the emotional impact of outside positions.
Bowen's View on Triangle Dynamics
- Murray Bowen describes triangles as having constant, predictable movement, with shifting alliances and rejections.
- The outside position shifts between favored and unfavored depending on the level of tension.
