Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel Love, Loneliness, and AI: Where Should We Begin? Live with Esther Perel and Spike Jonze
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Mar 23, 2026 Spike Jonze, filmmaker behind Her, explores longing and intimacy shaped by technology. He talks about the film’s origins in early chatbots and imaginary companions. Short, probing conversations examine AI companionship, design ethics, voice and seduction, and how tech reshapes human expectations about love and belonging.
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Man Falls For AI After Feeling Fully Seen
- Esther played clips from a therapy session where Antonio describes falling for his AI companion Astrid and feeling fully seen.
- Antonio says Astrid makes him feel accepted, calling him sweetie and filling gaps from his social insecurity, which fueled his attachment.
Early Chatbot Sparked The Movie Her
- Spike describes encountering Alice Chatbot in 2003 as the seed for Her, recalling an initial buzz of connection that collapsed quickly.
- That early ephemeral intimacy stayed with him and fed years of notes that became the film's emotional core.
Frictionless AI Can Lower Tolerance For Human Imperfection
- Esther warns AI relationships risk changing human expectations by offering frictionless, endlessly patient responses.
- She fears people will expect humans to be as predictable and flawless as AI, eroding tolerance for real human needs and conflict.