New Books Network

Stephen Grosz, "Love's Labour: How We Break and Make the Bonds of Love" (Vintage, 2026)

Apr 6, 2026
Stephen Grosz, a practicing psychoanalyst and bestselling author, brings forty years of clinical experience to bear. He explores why love feels so difficult. Short, vivid stories reveal resistance to change, the work of seeing ourselves clearly, the pressures on partnerships, and how mortality and gratitude shape our capacity to love.
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ANECDOTE

Training Analysis Changed How Pain Was Valued

  • Grosz recounts his training analysis at age 31 to show how his view of pain shifted from symptom to instrument.
  • He describes a patient who lacked the pain of missing a partner, revealing she valued distance in relationships.
INSIGHT

Love Is The Work Of Seeing Clearly

  • Love's labor is the lifelong work of seeing oneself and others clearly.
  • Grosz links love to relinquishing idealization and self-deception so we can join the world as it is, quoting Miłosz on perspective.
ADVICE

Delay External Validation In Early Dating

  • Slow down early dating and figure out what you feel before showing partners to friends or family.
  • Grosz warns young patients that rushing external validation obscures internal criteria for choosing a partner.
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